Thursday, December 29, 2011


"To be in a state of surprise or amazement, a cause of astonishment or surprise."These are some of Webster's definitions of " wonder." We just celebrated Christmas, ( the birth of Christ ) this past Sunday. What a blessing it was to be in a church full of people on Christmas morning! That afternoon we had dinner and the opening of gifts together. There are fourteen of us now, seven being the grandchildren. The most exciting time is to watch the children open gifts because they are still filled with " wonder".

The two oldest grandchildren are now teens. They chose to open gifts with the adults this year. We all watched the little ones as they shouted and exclaimed over each gift! The teens, watching with us, remembered that intoxicating state of wonder that only a child knows on Christmas morning.

This past July my husband began a cancer drug that had just been approved for metastatic pancreatic cancer. After dealing with cancer for over nine years, his body was about to surrender . The doctor had said those dreaded words: "I've done all I can do." That was the exact month that the drug was approved for this type of cancer.

After ninety days on the drug, a CT scan showed "remarkable improvement!" The radiologist was clearly in a state of wonder! He was amazed by the results he saw because he was the one who had been treating my husband and had done all he could do to help with the pain and the growing tumors.

It was at that exact moment that God spoke to my heart in such a way that it astounded me! I had been watching and noticing an improvement everyday. Before the drug, we were talking about and making plans for the seemingly imminent death. The most difficult thing to deal with in cancer is not so much death as it is suffering . To see his improvement and hear these results has brought back wonder to my walk with God. Not for the reason you may think. The reason is that God has shown Himself to me in such an intimate way. He has once again made me realize that He is concerned with the details of our lives. He is the source of my wonder. Without Him there would only be science, statistics and emptiness behind the improvements.

Something else amazed me. It was the lack of "wonder" in so many. It wasn't that they didn't care, just that they didn't seem to see the hand of an awesome God in it all! The greatest response of all, besides in our children, came from the radiologist. Perhaps he needed to see for himself that God is still in control of our lives. Who knows what this wonder may do for him?

Week after week, we go to church and meet with people who have lost the wonder of a loving Savior who came to earth for us. He wants to be intimate with us, not just someone we talk about. To lose the wonder of Him is far worse than losing the "magic" of Christmas morning.

How wonderful it would be to meet with a church body that is filled with the wonder of an awesome God! There would be a packed house every service with the anticipation of coming to worship Him! We all need a rediscovery of the amazement of God.

"Thou hast made us for thyself, oh Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in thee." Augustine

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


We live in a fast changing, challenging, and sometimes very chaotic world. It's becoming difficult to watch world or even local news without becoming overwhelmed. If we listen to others talking about what they've seen or heard, conversations become very intense. And what about those conversations we have with others about ordinary day-to-day living? Those can also be overwhelming and difficult because life is hard, is it not?

Whatever I experience, hear others are experiencing, or see happening around the world, I take myself back to that very solid place in my life from which everything else must be viewed. That place is my "reference point". It is the very core of my life. It is the exact moment in time when I became a Christian. I was 16 years old. I began a personal relationship with Jesus Christ at that time.

The change in my life was so great that it grounded me. God placed people in my life to encourage me and be an example for me to pattern my life after. Many trials have come and gone since then, but He has never failed me. I have not always responded correctly but the Lord has been patient with me.

Thank the Lord, I have some absolutes in my life to go back to:

God has provided me a Savior to be my guide through life.
He loves me more than anyone, even when I'm unloveable.
He has given us His Word, the Bible, to teach us about Himself.
I can go to Him anytime, night or day, without an appointment or middle-man.
He cares about my every need and has always provided for me.

These are only a few of my "absolutes". No matter what happens in my life, I have that reference point to go back to. Without Jesus we will flounder through life. He has made us for Himself, nothing else will satisfy. What is your reference point? Is it your physical birth only, or is it your spiritual birth? Make sure you have Him as your personal Savior. What a great time of year! Christmas, the day that God became a man to provide a Savior for the world.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Brevity of Life

I am a journaler. Since I was about 15, I have scribbled thoughts and quotes on little scraps of paper here and there. I finally started to buy journals to write in. I have a couple of travel journals, a couple of praise and worship journals, and a few day-to-day journals. Here's a picture of some. These are a reminder to me that life is fleeting. The large one on the bottom of the pile was written in 9yrs.Don't think those were boring years just because it's not very big. Some days were of course rather dull, but other days I would've welcomed dull! In 9 yrs I welcomed 5 new grandchildren, traveled to some very exciting places, taken care of a very sick husband, seen our church build and relocate and said good-bye to some dear people in my life including my daddy.
The Bible has much to say about the brevity of life. These journals remind me of "We spend our years as a tale that is told." Psalm 90:9. I would change a lot of things if I could, but since I can't , I will allow my failures to push me closer to the Lord and to learn from them. May the message I leave behind be one of a constant and faithful God who has led me all the way!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Needy People

On any given Sunday I find myself pondering the needs and heartaches of those I am surrounded by. The plain truth is that we are all needy people. Those needs are part of what keeps us coming back to Him. When we say we have no need, we are the neediest of all. Pastors wives are also needy. Thats because we are human. I am always aware of just how frail I am! And don't think the old enemy himself doesn't remind me of that. I have gone to fellowship meetings for Pastors and their wives longing for the opportunity to just "be myself" and found myself among the wounded and needy. They too, are longing for the comfort of friendship from someone that cares. Walking into a fellowship meeting is like walking into a clinic. Many people, many needs.
Over the years God has used these occasions to draw me to Him. Lest I sound too pious, let me say it's a never-ending process. Wherever I go and whatever I do, I am still a Pastors wife. But most of all I am His child. I want to serve Him and I want to be anointed with "fresh oil" so I am ready to be used to encourage someone else. I would also like to add that God uses a few people along the way to encourage me. They are those who are faithful no matter what, growing in the Lord and realize that I am a sinner saved by grace.C.S. Lewis said it best: "Think of me as a fellow patient in the same hospital who, having been admitted a little earlier, could give some advice."

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Break up the fallow ground

Today is Sunday and the sermon this morning came from the book of Hosea. Our Pastor is burdened for revival to come to our church. I pray that it begins with me. We now see a "famine" in our land. It is a spiritual famine which is much more difficult to deal with than a physical famine. We are a blessed country and however wonderful that is, it has its pitfalls. Some of the signs of that famine include: a lack of faithfulness, a high tolerance for sin, a love for entertainment above a passion for God and a numbness that keeps the altars empty.History has shown us that God has to send a revival every 3rd generation or so because our human tendency is to forget Him and to become so self-reliant that we don't recognize our need of HIm. This past week I had to listen to a grandmother pour her heart out to me over a situation in her family that only God would be able to change. It was so heartbreaking that she and I just cried together and poured our hearts out to God for mercy .
How can people live without His grace in their miserable lives? Dear friend, ask God to start a revival in your heart and to break up the fallow ground that typifies our churches today.

Friday, December 9, 2011

For and about pastors wives.

I am a first time blogger and new to the computer world in general. Recently I have been saddened by the number of people who have become discouraged in ministry or have left ministry to find something to fill a void they obviously have. There are many discouragements we face in ministry today. Some of those include a lack of faithfulness among church members, disappointments in others, unfulfilled expectations and severe heartaches. I would like to be an encouragement to other pastors wives as well as help others to understand the life we live from our viewpoint. This is not about venting or whining. This is meant to bring encouragement and to be a blessing to others. For those of you who used to read my newsletter articles, you will see a similarity. Pray that my words would bring glory to God.