THE FRAGRANCE OF FORGIVENESS

I love this quote by Mark Twain: "Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that crushed it." If you are like me, you have many opportunities to practice forgiveness throughout an average day, be it in traffic, the checkout line or just around the home. Some things seem easier to forgive than others, but however trite it may seem, a small root of bitterness can bring great trouble to our lives.

Just last week I was pulling out of a parking lot and a man came around the corner facing me head on. The problem was he was looking down at something, a phone or some other distraction. I cried out to God for help and turned the car so as to avoid a crash. The man looked up at the last second and hit the brake about an inch from my car! I was so shaken that I just drove off and he looked shocked to say the least. I easily forgave that because I know how such things can happen if you look away from the dash for even a moment.

I have also faced larger things in life that are much harder to forgive. Especially when it involves a child or other loved one. I have had experiences that seemed impossible to put behind me. I am sure that you have as well. Unforgiveness comes at a high price. It can cost us our most valued assets such as: relationships, reputation and even our health.

There is much more to be said but not enough space to say it. Bottom line is that forgiveness is a choice like most other things in life. The Bible gives us this admonition: "Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." (Eph. 4:32.)

THINKING ABOUT COMMITMENT

Tomorrow my husband and I will be celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary! I have been thinking back to that week of our lives when we were preparing for that day, July 28th 1972. I can hardly believe it has been that long! We met at Bible College our freshmen year and we have had an amazing journey!

We made a commitment to love, honor and cherish each other until death part us and that is still our plan. We consider the last ten years as bonus years because of a cancer diagnosis 10 yrs ago. Looking back, I see God's guiding hand in our lives. We started out living by faith, literally. We didn't have much of anything but God blessed our trust in Him and we have never gone without.

Our union was blessed with 3 wonderful children and 7 grandchildren all of whom are serving the Lord in their local churches. We have served in different areas of ministry in three different churches. This Sunday we are celebrating our 28th year in our present church. It is my husbands first and only pastorate. To God be the glory! Great things He hath done!

There seems to be such a deficit in the area of commitment now days. Whatever you choose to do with your life, there needs to be a sold out, no turning back attitude, be it marriage or ministry. Life is difficult for everyone but the payoff is worth it. There is something to be said for old-fashioned commitment. It is one of the best gifts you will ever give to your children and grandchildren.

BEYOND FEELINGS

Have you noticed in recent years that people live their lives according to how they "feel?" Sunday morning, before church, I got into a conversation with a woman about the length of my husband's sermons. She was very adamant in saying that he is preaching about ten minutes longer because "he is feeling better." I told her he never preaches according to how he feels or he may not be there at all! She refused to accept that even though I live with the man 24/7 and know for a fact nothing he does has anything to do with his feelings! (It was really a light-hearted conversation and we both were laughing about the fact that we didn't agree at all.)

It is easy to get into the pattern of considering one's feelings when going about our daily life. The world caters to people that live by their feelings. Advertising, entertainment, restaurants, all things that involve pampering ourselves, direct us toward the mindset that we should do whatever we "feel" like doing....or not! Does the word "impulsive" come to mind?

The Bible gives us many examples as to how to live our lives outside of the realm of feelings. Let me give you some to start your mind rolling: Daniel, just a teen when taken into captivity, yet he determined not to live by his feelings but according to his convictions. Esther, a young woman given a request that could cost her not only her life but the lives of countless others. Compare these young ones with our teens today! The difference is the thought of living by feelings wasn't an option. As for Daniel, we also see him as an old man in the lions den that still had not wavered!

I have to admit that I have also struggled with feelings. I used to count that as a strong point of mine but now I know for a fact that it is not. The enemy has been relentless of late, insisting that perhaps the path I chose to follow so many years ago has not counted for much. The ministry has never been easy but recent years have gotten harder as the world has become so much more prominent in the lives of professing Christians. There are times when I ask myself "What difference does it make?" The reason for this onslaught of thoughts has been an unusual amount of counseling recently. People want to do what feels good and not what is right. After awhile it wears you down.

What do we do when we feel overwhelmed by the urge to live by our "feelings?" We do exactly what Daniel did and that is to purpose in our hearts that we will not give in to ourselves! We go back to the Bible and we encourage ourselves in the Lord. We remember what He has done for us and where we have come from. We reflect on His goodness and review past victories and think about the joy that awaits us when we meet Him on that day and anxiously await to hear Him say "WELL DONE!" That was my goal so many years ago and it is my goal today.

"He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might He increaseth strength." (Isaiah 40:29).

EVERLASTING STRENGTH

There are times in the ministry when things become "heavy." You pastors wives know exactly what I am talking about. Many people, many needs. Most of the time they come to the pastor for "counsel" but their minds are made up already about how they will deal with their difficulty. It really makes you wonder if you have wasted your time. What people really want is a person that will agree with them rather than give them godly counsel.

There are also those well-meaning people that think they need to "help" the pastor because he isn't fixing things the way they think they could be fixed. That is also frustrating because they have no idea how many hours that pastor has spent counselling and trying to give encouragement to others. These people can also become part of the problem because they are going here and there trying to do their "fixing" and it changes nothing except to give the person with the problem someone else to tell their story to.

God is the only one that can mend the hearts and lives of people. A pastor that walks with God and loves his people is an added blessing but he can only do so much. The pastor has to go to the Lord for his strength and encouragement in dealing with the heavy hearts of his people. Early this morning God encouraged me with this text from Isaiah 26: 3-4: "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the Lord forever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength." Ahhhhhhhhhhh (That was my sigh of relief.)

LIFE ON THE EDGE

I can't believe that I have two grandchildren in their teens! My grandson recently got his driving permit and he and I have already taken a drive together with him behind the wheel! Where did the time go? A few short years ago he was in the "Peter Pan," "Davy Crockett," "Pirate" phases of a little boys life and now he is driving a car, playing sports and discussing life's challenges with me. Every opportunity I get, I encourage him through the difficult days of transitioning into adulthood. Anything that I can offer him to read to help avoid pitfalls, I will share with him.

I just re-read Dr. James Dobsons book: "Life On The Edge" with Grant in mind. I plan to give this book to him because it is a wonderfully written, practical guide for young people entering what Dobson calls "the critical decade" between 16 and 26 years of age. He addresses such things as vocation, colleges, lifelong love, money, power and other things that will impact them for the rest of their lives.

I highly recommend this to anyone going into this decade of their life or to parents and grandparents of these young adults. We must be pro-active in the lives of our young ones to prepare them for the future. I am so thankful to Dr. Dobson for this priceless contribution to future generations.

FRIENDSHIP

Everyone needs an Onesiphorus in their life. Onesiphorus was a man that was a true friend to the Apostle Paul. We read about him in II Timothy 1:16-18. Listen to what Paul said about him: "he oft refreshed me," "was not ashamed of my chain," "he sought me out diligently," he ministered many things unto me."

I have an Onesiphorus in my life. She has had a few pastor's wives in her life and continues to offer them her love and friendship when she is no longer in their church. One of them lives in another State but comes to visit often. On her recent visit, my husband commented to me that she really likes to come here to visit this friend. We concluded that it must be because it refreshes her to have this person for a friend.

I am thankful that this modern-day Onesiphorus has offered friendship to me, her current pastor's wife, as well as to the previous ones. She is kind and thoughtful and has the grace of God on her life. Everyone can use an Onesiphorus in their life. Not only do we need one, we need to be one for someone else.

PRECIOUS MEMORIES

Today is the 90th birthday of my dear mother-in-law! It is also the wedding day of my sweet niece Victoria. I have been sitting here praying for them this morning and thinking of their lives on this earth. One is starting a new phase of her life, the other is winding down hers. I remember the details of how God brought Victoria into our family. I was with my sister when we brought her home from the hospital. What a thrilling time that was for all of us! I also remember the details of first meeting my mother-in-law and how she blessed and impacted my life forever.

Its good to reflect back on days like this. It helps us to realize how very precious time is and how quickly it disappears. May God help us to realize the value of the people He has placed together in families on this earth. We should not waste time being at odds or in conflict with each other. Think about the people in your life. Do you treasure them and nurture your relationships with them? They are the only thing we can take with us to Heaven.